Being a team player is considered a big compliment. Being someone who is easy to get along with, helpful, and mindful of the needs of others is highly desirable in friends, employees, and family members. People who don’t pitch in or make themselves part of the solution are seen as selfish and stingy with their time and resources. From an early age, people are encouraged to be accommodating and helpful as a sign of respect and to earn their place in whatever tribe they belong to. 

It is well and good to have a servant's heart. Thinking beyond yourself to the needs of others is important and does win friends and influence people, but there is a line between saying yes for the right reasons and saying it for the wrong reasons. At some point, saying yes to too many things is going to cause problems. Saying yes doesn’t make you a great person - saying yes, with healthy boundaries, does. 

Think of yourself as the hub of a wagon wheel. You are the stabilizing center that holds all the spokes of the wheel together. Each spoke is attached to you and represents an element of your life. Elements like: 

• Your children

• Your spouse

• Your employer or customers

• Your health

• Your finances

• Your friends

• Your extended family

• And more… 

Individually, these spokes are a part of your life, but not your whole life. Your whole life is the sum of these spokes mingling together, day in and day out. Each spoke represents needs, actions, and responsibilities that you have and there are likely more responsibilities - or spokes - than there are hours of the day which means you really can’t be all things to all people every day. 

Each of these responsibilities comes with expectations and needs that require you to say yes. Yes to: 

• Taking your time

• Giving your attention

• Spending your money

• Expending your energy 

Few people consider any needs outside of their own. It is up to you to set boundaries and realize that you simply can’t say yes to everything. You can say no and still be a great person. Learning to set healthy boundaries can help you say no with confidence and without feeling guilty. Learning to say no can also improve your health and your personal satisfaction with life. Saying no can also help you find the time to do the things you want to do, rather than the things you think you must do. 

You can say no and still be a great person. You don’t need the approval of every spoke in your wagon wheel to feel confident in yourself. Give yourself the grace you deserve to set boundaries and say no while remaining the wonderful person you know that you are.

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